what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate
i am demisexual meaning i am only attracted to those born of gods or who are themselves a deity. move out of the way assholes, i’m gonna fuck zeus
*sucks guys dick*
*dies of nut allergy*
did you know that proteins in brazil nuts can be transmitted sexually so if someone had an allergy and the guy had eaten brazil nuts then they could literally suck dick and die of a nut allergy
now I do
I used to be picked in high school. People were like “You look like Jason Priestley!”
this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man
how did you get in there.
I MEAN THEY GO FROM LOOKING LIKE THIS TO YOU:
TO SUDDENLY LOOKING LIKE THIS
I MEAN HOLY CRAP THAT’S MY MATHS TEACHER SMOKING IN A SUIT AS HE RIDES A SHARK.
IF THAT’S NOT BEAUTIFUL TO YOU, YOU’RE LYING.
DOES ANYONE ELSE GET LIKE REALLY HAPPY WHEN SOMEONE LEANS THEIR HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDER AND YOURE LIKE FUCK YEAH IVE BEEN CHOSEN AND YOU FEEL REALLY SPECIAL BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO STAY SO FUCKIBG STILL COS IF YOU MOVE THEYLL STOP LEANING ON YOU AND ITS LIKE NO COME BACK IM SORRRRYUWYY
it’s 2 in the morning and this is hilarious
it is 6 in the evening and it is still hilarious
9:36pm. Still hilarious.
It’s 2096, humanity has been wiped out by raging cannibalism, only I’m alive. This very post, is still hilarious
Just called an anorexia help line and the girl answered and immediately hearing I was male said “you’re real funny douche” and hung up. If you dot think that’s messed up, u messed up.
i turned around to my desk and saw this glory in my magnifying mirror